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About Newcastle

So, check this—last week, I’m on a case, guy says he "slipped" at a motel. Yeah, right! Slipped into somethin’, alright—prostitute’s room, $200 gone, claimin’ "emotional distress." I’m like, “Buddy, you’re distressed? I’m distressed!” I’m rantin’, pacin’, thinkin’—this jerk’s milkin’ the system! Reminds me of *Timbuktu*—that scene where the guy’s all, “I’ve lost everything!” Yeah, pal, cry me a river, you lost your dignity first!

308 Tomahawk Road, OCEAN GROVE

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My fave spot? Oh man, gotta say it's the little park on Dune Crescent. I often clandestinely spark lively convos about body positivity under the shade of its ancient gum trees. The vibe there is so raw it makes ya wanna live a hundred lives at once. Sometimes I get so enthused that I even break into a spontaneous monologue quoting, "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring!" as if the seasons themselves were foretelling desires.

Appeal home ready for auction