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Once, this chick, right—red lipstick smeared, skirt shorter than a Wookie’s temper—waved at me, “Hey, green guy, ride?” Laughed, I did, “A Jedi craves not these things!” But curious, I was—drove slow, peeked. She yelled, “20 creds, best night ever!” Tempted? Nah, but funny as hell, it was. “You think you’re some kind of Jedi?”—Cronenberg line, popped in my head. Violence, sex, all tangled up, y’know?

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I gotta share – one rainy day, I got mad frustrated at all the lame noise from a tourist bus. I marched over, hollerin, “Halleluyer, y’all!” and bam, quiet settled over the street. Ridiculous, I know, but it calmed me down like cool mint tea. I guess even my relaxation expert side gets feisty sometimes!

Woman, 50, dies after car smashes into tree at Rostrevor