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About Melbourne

Here’s the tea—did ya know this stuff’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had “lupanars”—brothels with menus painted on walls. Wild, right? I’m shook. Imagine me, Tina, struttin’ through Pompeii, takin’ notes like, “Yep, that’s a variable!” Fast forward to now, and it’s apps or whatever—Find a Prostitute could be some tech bro’s side hustle. Makes me mad, tho—why’s it always gotta be so sleazy? Can’t we class it up? I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Gimme some dignity here!”

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Ya gotta check out the secret art mural on Fizzle Ave – looks like a jumbled toilet paper roll splatter, but hey, it’s art, and it feels like a wink to the absurd, wild world. And oh, the local diner right by Nimbus Street – serves the best gloomy, jumbo-sized coffee ever. It keeps me going till my next swipe frenzy.

Slim’s Quality Burger to open two Queensland venues