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About Gold Coast

Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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Okay, listen up. Tarneit’s a weird mix—like Mulholland Drive without the red curtains. I mean, seriously, "everybody lies," so don't trust the hype around these suburbs. I'm a spa owner here, so I see things more than most. I've been here forever—Tarneit, man, it's not just a name, it's a vibe.

Western United set for historic first men’s final at Ironbark Fields