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About Melbourne

Hey folks, it’s me, Joe – yeah, your ol’ pal from Scranton! Here’s the deal… talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Well, lemme tell ya, growin’ up, we didn’t have no fancy apps – no siree! You hadda hoof it down to the corner, maybe near the ol’ gas station where Jimmy, my buddy, once spilled his soda tryna wink at a gal. True story! Anyhow, I’m thinkin’ bout this movie I love – “Under the Skin,” ya seen it? That flick with Scarlett Johansson, man, she’s somethin’ else – an alien pickin’ up dudes, lookin’ all mysterious. “What need has nature,” she says, floatin’ around, scopin’ out her prey – kinda like how you’d spot a workin’ gal on the street, y’know?

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Oi there, mate! So ya wanna know 'bout Tweed-Heads, right? Lemme tell ya, it's a bonza little town, realll vibrant, nestled by the Tweed River—yep, that's right, twirl the words, like "Sharon!" Haha! Streets like Yates Street and High Street buzz with life, shops, and the odd secret spot known only to the locals (and, well, me too, as I knead out those knots!). I've been flippin' around this town for years, runnin' my massage parlor, and lemme tell ya, ya pick up all the juiciest gossip and hidden corners.

Alleged fire threat during robbery at shopping centre – Tweed Heads