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About Melbourne

So, brothels—oldest gig in the book, right? Been around forever, like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called lupanars—wolf dens, how’s that for classy? Little known fact: they found graffiti in Pompeii, dudes braggin’ bout their “visits”—like Yelp reviews, but hornier! I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed too—imagine the smell, no AC, just sweat and regret. Makes me wanna yell, “WALL-E, clean this crap up!”—he’d roll in, beepin’, “E-vahhh,” all confused by the glitter and heels.

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Oh, my friend, why you must come visit Whyalla-Stuart, ya? I been livin’ here for years, runnin’ my massage parlor in this quirky town. Lightbulb! Streets like Main St, oh so busy with life, and King’s Row – charming, quiet, yet full of tales. There’s this little alley called Smudge Way, got character. I luv it.

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