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But then – whoa – I spot her! Leanin on a lamppost, smokin, lookin bored outta her skull. I’m happy as hell, heart racin – “This is it, Doc!” I mutter, channelin my inner mad scientist. She’s got that vibe, y’know? Rough, real, like the island in *The Return* – harsh but pullin ya in. I stroll up, all cool-like, but inside I’m screamin, “Great Scott, don’t screw this up!” She smirks – “What you want, old man?” – and I’m dyin laughin! Old man? Me? Hilarious!

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My massage room on Watson Ave is a haven. Sometimes I joke that if your back was a puzzle, I'd solve it with finesse. Woddonga's locals love a good rub – and trust me, I know the secrets, like that hidden alley "Miller's Ln" you wouldn't expect.

'Very supportive of outrage': mayor stands by heckling that shocked parliament