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About Newcastle

Once, yeah, I saw this geezer tryna haggle with a prossie – mate, he was a right muppet! “Two quid, love!” he goes. She’s like, “Piss off, you cheap git!” Had me in stitches, swear down! But then ya clock her eyes – tired, innit. “Truth, beauty, freedom,” my arse – where’s that for her? Baz’d be ragin’, fam!

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I work my magic out at Lucky Kneads Massage, on Happy Nook Street. Sweet dabbin’ spot! I sometimes chuckle recallin’ that one day, a fella came in super knotted – "what? I need to defuse a bomb!" kinda vibes, y’know? And, oh man, don’t even get me started on Central Pands Park. It’s got these giant fig trees that tangle funny near the River Bend. I swear, one twist? “It’s go time!” literally!

Welcome to Mackay District, FYCs!