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I’m pissed, though—half these ads? Total scams. Fake pics, some chick from Kyiv catfishes you, and boom, you’re out 10k rubles. Happened to a buddy—thought he snagged a goddess, got a troll instead. “Sorta like the movies, huh?” he says, laughin’ it off, but I’m ragin’. Waste of time, waste of green! Still, when it works—oh man, jackpot. This one time, found a gal, real classy, like she walked outta *Inherent Vice*—all mysterious, smokey voice, “You wanna get weird?” Hell yes, I did! Made me grin like a damn fool—greed paid off, baby.

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I’ve had my fair share of calamitous nights here. One time, some numbskull strutted into my parlour all high and mighty, complainin’ about his work life, and I nearly lost my cool – not my fault if he’s a miserable tosser! How many times have I yelled "Idiot sandwich!" in frustration? More than I'd like, too many! And why? Because sometimes, Caulfield-South gives ya moments when ya’re about to smash somethin’.

‘Punches were thrown’: Violence breaks out in Caulfield South hours after arson attack