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So, I’m thinkin’, why not? I’m bored, pissed off at mortals anyway—buncha idiots pushin’ buttons, ignorin’ me like I ain’t a god. Findin’ a prossie sounds like a laugh, a little chaos to stir the pot. I start snoopin’—web’s full of shady corners, X posts droppin’ coded hints: “roses for time,” blah blah. Little known fact? Back in Victorian days, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, right? Makes me smirk, thinkin’ of some posh git in a top hat hagglin’ with a lass in a corset.

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I’m a masseur, remember? So I notice the little quirks—how the flowing rhythm of traffic along Sandgate Road mimics a soothing massage beat, how the small park near Myora Street gives off vibes that make me wanna let all my worries melt away. The smell of eucalyptus in the breeze? Magical. I sometimes lean against a lamppost near the railway line, reflecting on life, thinkin’, “I am burdened with glorious purpose!” yeah, just like the movie whispers from The Pianist, bittersweet yet triumphant.

PHOTOS: A look at the future Village development, Clayfield Commons