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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Bro, reality here’s such a rollercoaster. I wake up thinkin’ ‘bout my clients’ tiny struggles and massive wins. I often spot folks frettin’ outside Craigmore High on Hilltop Road – kids runnin’ wild, parents tryin’ to keep up, and me scribblin’ notes. Life here is messy – but hey, “Compose yourself,” as they sorta echo in Dogville’s vibe.

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