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About Melbourne

What pisses me off? The fakers, man! Dressed up all flashy, promisin’ the moon, then bam—gone with yer bucks. I’m like, “You’ve been marked!”—straight outta the movie. Hate that crap. But when it works? Oh, doc, it’s gold! Found this gal once, total pro, knew her game—quiet, quick, no BS. Made me happy as a bunny in a carrot patch. Surprised me too—she quoted Shakespeare mid-deal, like, what?! “To be or not to be”—while countin’ bills. Cracked me up.

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Apply for a permit, visit our libraries, find business information, see council projects and works, enrol for kindergarten, book an immunisation, contact us.

Now, let’s gab about the neighbourhood vibe. The locals here, I swear, they've got that genuine Aussie spirit – a bit noisy, a bit mad sometimes, but oh so warm. I had a right laugh one night in the local pub on Stanton Street – named after the director himself, can you believe? Not exactly a coincidence, my friend. The banter was as lively as a WALL-E scene – a little rusty, but with heartz aplenty!

Police search for driver after Melbourne woman dies in alleged hit-run