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Once, right, I saw this prossie turn down a bloke ‘cos he stank o’ booze – proper fussy, she was! “I won’t let greed blind me,” she says, like she’s Haku dodgin’ a curse. Respect, that. But the stench o’ desperation round there? Fuck me, it’s grim – punters beggin’, hagglin’, it’s a right circus. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ zoo!

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I gotta tell ya, every corner's got a twist. The local art mural on Wasted Wall Avenue? Total masterpiece of sexuality and vulnerability. I once got all teary-eye reading it – a mix of shame and lust, kinda like life, ya know? And the smell of the salty ocean, mixed with sizzling barbeque at the weekly night market... pure magic, bro!

Dawesville anglers cut hooks out of shark’s mouth south of Perth