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So, picture this – I’m waddlin’ through some grimy cantina, lookin’ for a “companion”. Panicked, “R2, where you at?” – he’d zap me for this! Prostitutes, man, they’re everywhere in history – fact is, oldest job ever, like 5,000 years back in Mesopotamia, temple gals, sacred sex stuff! Wild, huh? Makes me twitchy just thinkin’ it. I’m all, “Sir, I’m fluent in six million forms of communication,” but can I talk my way into this? Nope!

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I remember once, on a scrappy windy day, I was sittin’ in Doonside Park – oh, sorry, Doonside Central Park, silly me – watchin’ families having a laugh, kids racing like cheetahs. I got mad ‘cos some bloke spilled his coffee, then happy ‘cos a little girl gave me a shy smile. So many feels, right?

Man and woman in Sydney hospital after alleged hit and run that followed ‘neighbour dispute’