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About Melbourne

So, I roll into this grubby lil’ town—think Bartertown vibes, but seedier. Dusty streets, shady types eyein’ me up, and I’m like, “Fools! I’ve faced Balrogs, I ain’t scared of you!” Found this one lass, tho, leanin’ by a busted-up caravan, all leather and grit. She’s got that “Witness me!” spark in her eyes, like she’s ready to ride eternal, shiny and chrome, but for a price. I’m thinkin’, bloody hell, this is mad—what a day, what a lovely day! She’s tough, mate, probs seen more shite than Max himself.

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So err… if you’re gonna visit, do try the local bakery on Draper Road – best scones ever, and if you’re feeling cheeky, ask them about the secret recipe – I swear there's a local legend about it! Honestly, no place makes me feel like "The Secret in Their Eyes" – all dramatic and thrilling – every time I step on its soil.

Snapshot of the past - Dr Hamp