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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

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Man, the local parks—like Ferntree Gully Park—are so breathe-n-easy! I luv walkin' near the many nature trails. There’s this quiet ravine off Pines Rd where I’ve had so many deep convos with my clients. So, like, sometimes when I'm rantin’ bout love and sex, I think “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days” style–you know, all raw and real, no bullshit! It’s kinda like life here.

A Q and A with Liberal Aaron Violi