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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

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I did my rounds downtown. Found a rad little café on Fishermans Quay. Their flat whites, man, they blast you into orbit. And OMG, the local library on Coral Court? A hidden maze of cool events and random art exhibits that boggle your mind!

‘It’s a sad time‘: Tropical watering hole announces shock closure