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About Perth

I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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So first off, McDowall, man – it's got its own vibe. Start wanderin’ round along McDowall Rd, ya feel? There’s that quirky café on Granville Lane – I swear, they brew magic. And oh, the little park, Bowen Green Park – sits right near the old creek, which some locals call “whispers river” (I know, sounds bonkers, right?) but that creek smooths my soul after long massage sessions.

McDowall to skipper much changed Scotland side against Portugal