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About Melbourne

What pisses me off? Blokes judgin’—oh, the sanctimony! “You’re a scientist, Rick, have some class!” Sod off, ya wankers, I’m human, not a bleedin’ saint! Happiest bit? Her crackin’ a joke—says, “You’re my weirdest punter yet!”—cheeky cow, I’m chuffed! Surprised me, too—didn’t expect her to know Darwin. “Survival of the fittest, eh?” she winks. Sharp as a tack, that one!

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I also love the local gaff in the neighborhood – Gibb's Corner, where everyone’s fixin' to gossip and smile. It’s less polished than my parlor, but it’s got heart, I reckon. Sometimes I mix up my words – "the blossoms of destiny", I mean "the waves of destiny", but I digress. Life’s too short to be proper all the time, right?

21st Century farmhouse fetches $6.3m