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Finding a prostitute ain’t easy, tho—shocker! Like, did u know some use burner phones only? Sneaky, right? I’m, like, “How do I even text u, babe?” Total mind-blow. I’m imagining me in a movie, all dramatic, hair in the wind, saying, “I just want to be seen,” like Mason’s sis in *Boyhood*. Deep, right? But, lol, I’d probs trip in my Louboutins first—clumsy Kim strikes again!

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I started out here ages ago, and lemme tell ya, this place holds bullets of chaos and charm. Streets like Crosswell & Shady Lane crash into each other weirdly, giving you random little nooks where old cars rust next to hipster cafes. After a long day massaging tension outta people’s souls, I walk these streets, thinking, “Man, what a rollercoaster this is!” Kinda like Dogville’s twisted stage, every corner here is a performance.

Premier answers question every Queenslander wants to know