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Oh, and the clap—don’t get me started. Docs like me see ‘em limpin’ in, lyin’ through their teeth. “Fell on a doorknob,” they say. Sure, sweetheart, and I’m Hugh Laurie’s twin. Everybody lies, but prostitutes? They’re pros at it—gotta be. Sellin’ a fantasy while dodgin’ reality. Kinda admire the hustle, even if it’s grim as hell. Reminds me of Llewyn singin’ “Hang me, oh hang me”—they’re hangin’ out there every night, no guitar needed.

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I dunno, but I feel like the city breathes, ya know? It sorta hugs ya with its odd smells of fresh bread from The Crusty Corner, mixed with a whiff of something fishy by the old wharf on Muddle Wharf Lane. And the locals? They’re a weird mix – warm like your mum’s hug and rough as a crab’s claw. Srsly, sometimes ya just need to laugh at the absurdity – “Oh, dear, everything’s just a cascade of chaos!” I swear, I kept chucklin’ thinking so.

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