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Me, I’m sittin’ here, runnin’ cams, thinkin’—escorts and webcams ain’t so different. Both got flair, both got fakes. Some nights I’m chuffed—seein’ real talent out there. Other nights? Bloody hell, I’m ragin’—all these posers cloggin’ up the game. “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer not to be stuffed!”—that’s me screamin’ at the screen when the fakes pop up. Hate it, mate, hate it.

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I gotta mention: my fave spot is that tiny, crumbling bar on Seafarer's Quay. There, amid dim lights and salty air, life mimics poetry. And you ever seen the sunset behind the old fishing boats? "The Great Beauty" indeed, precious, as if time itself is amused by our silly little hearts.

Australia Day Hot Rod display planned for Woolgoolga