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Oi mate, right, sex escort, yeah? Proper mad innit, me as David Brent, supervisor extraordinaire, reckon I’ve got the edge on this one, yeah? See, I’m all about team synergy, but escorts, they’re solo players, ain’t they? Blows me mind! Watched *The White Ribbon*—you know, my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, proper dark vibes—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “It’s a sign of trust,” yeah? Escorts, they’re trustin’ punters with cash upfront, mad innit? Blows me gasket sometimes, the risks they take!

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And then there’s the river, babbling through town, whispering like a twisted lullaby. Okay, now here’s fun: there’s a tiny bridge over the Molenbeek River that I cross every day. It ain't glamorous, but to me it's a portal to calm, like a heartbeat syncing with nature. Crazy, no? Sometimes I stop mid-crossing, stare, and mutter, “I, am alive... oh, man, why so serious?”

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