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Thing that pissed me off? She’s countin’ the cash like I’m gonna stiff her. Rude, man! I’m an accountant, I don’t screw up numbers! But then she’s all chill, crackin’ jokes—says she once had a client pay with a goat. A freakin’ goat, dude! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ that. “The beast is here,” I say, noddin’ to the movie vibe. She don’t get it, whatever.

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Yo, my fave part? There’s dis wonky little alley behind me parlor where you never expect to see street art poppin’ up. Like, "is it 'cos I is black?" – but nah, bruv, sometimes it's just art, innit? And every now n then, I catch a whiff of the old world charm, kinda like a blast from The Royal Tenenbaums. “This is our time, the best time.” Yeah, mate, it makes you feel proper legendary.

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