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Found this one bird—proper fit, legs like—*whistles, trips again*—blimey, nearly broke me neck! She’s all “50 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet, coins spillin’ everywhere—*pats pockets, panics*—like I’m Eli Cash goin’ “I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.” Made me laugh, that—me, a prossie’s Tenenbaum? Reckon she’s seen worse than me, tho. Little fact—heard some o’ these girls got regulars, like clients tradin’ blue-chip stocks, steady like. Mad, eh?

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Then, there's the Dender River. It's like a lazy ribbon. I love chillin’ on its banks, just listenin’ to the water. Sometimes, I meditate here. "I must break free, before the moment is lost," I murmur, a la that movie line, y’know? Seriously, it’s surreal. Ain’t many folks appreciate it like I do.

Lucinda Brand commences belated cyclocross season at Dendermonde World Cup following injury