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Anyhow, I’m wafflin’—she’s tappin’ her foot, I’m sweatin’ like a pig. “What’s it to be, blondie?” she snaps. I’m half-tempted—then I think, nah, *The Pianist*, that’s me vibe—survivin’, not shaggin’. “I must play, I must!”—Szpilman’s voice in me noggin. So I leg it—yep, scarper sharpish, leavin’ her gobsmacked. “Bloody toff!” she yells. I’m cacklin’—what a berk I am!

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Now, lemme tell ya ‘bout the local park, the Oudekerkplantsoen. It’s intimate, like a secret whisper behind a pop-up country song. I was sittin’ there one sunny afternoon, thinkin’ how life’s a bunny hop of surprises, when a stray dog trotted past, remindin’ me that I’m as unpredictable as a Lynch flick, a real “twin peaks” kind of moment, ya dig?

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