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About Antwerp

Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

So you want to book a sex worker?

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Dude, I gotta mention, my spa’s secret ingredient is the local mineral water from the springs at Mont Mystique – super cool, almost otherworldly. I swear, it makes every massage feel like a scene straight outta Amélie’s quirky fantasy. “La magie existe,” I mutter sometimes, and then boom – a perfect vibe hits.

Belgium volunteers, church officials roll up their sleeves for Pope Francis’ visit