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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, cargo transportation manager, and I hate everything. ‘Specially prostitutes. One time, hauled a truckload of crates—surprise, one splits open. Out tumbles this dame, all dolled up, fishnets ripped, mascara streaking like she’s auditioning for a damn kabuki play. Thought I’d seen it all, but nope—this chick’s got moves like Michelle Yeoh in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*. “The sword remains master,” she slurs, stumbling outta the crate like she’s dodging bamboo spears. Hilarious, right? Nah, pissed me off—ruined my schedule.

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So buddy, if you ever drop by, wander on the streets, chat with locals in those random cafes off Mechelsesteenweg, and just soak up the crazy, loving energy. It’s real, raw, and pure much like my fav movie moments. Just remember: “I wish I hadn’t, I wish I did!” and if things go weird, shout, “Ruh-roh!” Peace out, and see ya soon in our little wonderland!

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