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I tried it once—erotic-massage, not mayo—well, maybe mayo too, don’t judge! The lady was all pro, hands like magic, and I’m sittin’ there goin’, “This is better than starfish naps!” But then—ugh, get this—she used some weird smelly oil. Made me mad! Like, “Yo, this ain’t *The New World* vibes!” I wanted that “sweet scent of earth” feel, y’know, like when John Smith’s all poetic and stuff. Not stinky feet lotion! Gimme lavender or somethin’ sexy, jeez!

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Now, let’s chat parks. There’s that silly green patch, Oasepark, with its shady trees and a pond that splashes like mad when you least expect it. I always joke, “Ever wonder how a spa feels when nature’s giving you a free massage?” Kinda deep, right? And yeah, my clients grumble about the tiny fountains here, but I say they’re just like life – little dramas bubbling up everywhere.

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