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Picture this—me, bumbling about, hair a mess, thinking of *The Assassin*, that cracking film, Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, my fave. There’s this bit, right, “To kill or not to kill,” all moody and tense. Finding a prostitute? Bit like that—dodgy choices, murky vibes. I reckon it’s a right pickle, a *conundrum maximum*! Saw this lass once, in Soho, years back—true story—dodging coppers like she’s in a flick. Made me chuckle, but blimey, the risks! You don’t wanna end up in the clink, do you?

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I’ve seen some funky things here, no joke. One night, while debugging an app feature, I got startled by a flash mob in the little square behind Brix Brewery—pure madness, pure joy! Two minutes of dancing, chaos and spilled beers, repeating my mantra "I drink and I know things!" But man, it rained spontaneity like never before.

17-year-old girl hospitalised after assault in Flemish Brabant village