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So, I’m scrollin’, right? And I see this chick—gorgeous, I mean, wow! Bio says, “Lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Perfect! I’m in! But then—THEN—she ghosts me! After two messages! Two! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Made me so mad, I yelled at my phone—neighbors prob’ly think I’m nuts now. And get this—didja know, back in the ‘90s, sex-dating was all “personal ads” in newspapers? Yeah! Little known fact—people wrote, “SWF seeks SWM for discreet fun.” No pics, no swipes—just blind faith! Wild, right? Now it’s all “dick pics or bust.” Disgustin’!

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Alright, lemme tell ya 'bout PHingene (be), so f*ckin' quiet and annoying at times but also kinda chill. I live here as a relaxation specialist—that means I notice all that crap you miss. Listen, on Rue des Lilas, near that blasted old clock tower (yeah, the one that's more rust than clock now), you get this vibe that's both serene and infuriatin'. It's like "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" but with less happy tunes and more damn mosquitoes.

"Strong asparagus volumes expected just in time for Easter"