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So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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Some days I get all emotional. I get mad ‘coz sometimes peeps don't appreciate the simple joys, ya feel me? But then, as I stroll by the ancient stone fountain on Place des Rêves, I get this warm fuzz feeling. And I can't help but quote Carol: “One must simply embrace the beauty of oneself,” in my own twisted, chill way.

Intolerable detention conditions during Belgian prison strike says Council of Europe’s anti-torture committee