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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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Now, lemme spill a little secret – my fave spot is in the small park along the old mill on Waterstraat. It's so peaceful, like you're in one of those dreamy intervals from "Lost in Translation" where you’re lost in your own thoughts. And I gotta say, every time I pass by, I almost burst – in a good way, ya know – with a feeling of home and hope colliding like epic fireworks in the night sky.

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