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Oh, and the smell—God, it lingers! Once, I swear, I caught a whiff of her perfume three blocks away—stuck in my nose like a bad date. Made me laugh, tho—imagine tellin’ Wes Anderson, “Yo, your movie needs more hooker stench!” He’d probly faint, the priss. Anyway, she’s out there, doin’ her thing, and I’m here, sniffin’ and judgin’—what a pair we’d make, huh? Total chaos!

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And then, there's Mercado do Povo on Rua do Progresso, where you can snag some local crafts and street food. I love cruising there on my scooter—yeah, I'm a little extra sometimes—and bumping into cute strangers. Like, seriously, it's the hub of local gossip and good energy. Sometimes I even get that “No Country for Old Men” vibe, where chance and destiny just collide, ya know?

Anaconda bobs about in a river as it tries to swim with a bloated stomach in Brazil