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About Rio de Janeiro

So I’m sittin’ there, stressed outta my mind. Tax season’s a bitch, y’know? I’m thinkin’, “I need a break, man.” Then it hits me—why not find a pro? Not like some cheesy rom-com crap, nah, real gritty stuff. Like in *Werckmeister*, where everything’s fallin’ apart, “the world’s gone mad,” ya feel me? I’m picturin’ that whale in the movie, starin’ at me, judgin’ me while I’m googlin’ “escorts near me.” Hilarious, right?

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There’s a little coffee spot on Rua do Café where locals drop by after a workout sesh, talkin' bout life, laughin' offensive. I got this memory, bro: I was tryin' to relax my mind—ya know, my relaxation hustle—when this old timer sat next to me, rantin' a story 'bout how the river, Rio dos Sonhos, changed his life. I'm like, "No way, brother!" It was epic!