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I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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Anyways, amigo, pack your sense of adventure and maybe a pair of flip-flops – you're in for one helluva ride. I'll be right here, sippin’ a cold brew and watchin’ another of those epic sunsets, thinkin’ "I wish I could see the world sometimes!" Git-R-Done and hit Caucaia – you won't regret it!

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