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Still, there’s funny bits! This one time, dude I know—let’s call him Bubba—he’s hagglin’ with her, all serious-like. She goes, “Honey, I don’t do discounts!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—Bubba’s face redder’n a baboon’s ass! Gotta admit, she had sass—respect! Prostitutes got game, y’all, don’t sleep on ‘em.

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I loooove the vibe here in the neighborhoods too, like Bairro Das Estrelas – it’s lit, literally, with twinkly streetlamps – and don’t even get me started on the indie shops and pop-up art galleries. The local river, Rio Sereno, winds through the city; its banks are perfect for a midday stroll, making you feel like you’re in some Wes Anderson frame. “I know what you’re thinking,” as Sam said, “it’s time for an adventure!” And trust me, Concordia is adventure wrapped in charm with a hefty dose of surprises.

Obituary | Betty Ann Cyphers of Concordia, Kansas