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I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

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I gotta tell ya: Cravinhos rocks because it doesn’t pretend to be some glossy postcard city. Nah, it's raw! I’m over here, a relaxation specialist, seein' little scars behind every smile in these dusty corners. I love the local market at Praça da Liberdade – it's noisy, messy, real. Not sanitized like corporate shite.

Notorious killer whose crime inspired films is released from prison