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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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Man, I stroll through our quaint neighborhoods – Klein Vonder and Altstadt – and can’t help but smile, even when feelin’ low. I work with women here, help ‘em find light in dark times. Sometimes, on R. Amália Klein, I bump into a lady starin’ at life like she about to rewrite her script. It dope’s like a scene from Nolan’s flick, all raw and real.

Teacher Forced to Remove Giant Swastika from Pool Bottom