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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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I laughed ‘til I cried when I first saw a stray capim flower bloom wild, right in the middle of our busy market street – like a sign from above saying, "Darlin', be extra and bloom, bloom, bloom!" And yeah, I'm a bit quirky – I talk to my plants sometimes. Now, don't judge me, sugar; every spa owner’s gotta have her secrets!

New Canadian-backed potash mine under fire from Amazon Indigenous groups