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But here’s the rub – it’s dodgy as hell. Tiny dose, fine. Too much? Dead horse. Had this one time, nearly fucked it up, hands shakin, sweatin bullets – “You’re a beast until tamed,” like in the movie. Heart was racin, but pulled it off. Exaggeratin a bit, maybe, but felt like a fuckin hero! Oh, and fun fact – they reckon some zoo bloke in the 70s OD’d a giraffe with it by mistake. Poor bastard stretched out like a noodle – tragic but fuckin hilarious!

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Look, some days I get mad at how cliché everything is, like every bar claims to be “hip” or “authentic.” But, then again, these contradictions make Ituiutaba so bloody interesting. Its streets, landmarks, and grubby rain-soaked corners are what give the city its soul—even if that soul is a tad bruised.

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