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Ooh, here’s a quirky thought – what if “find a prostitute” was an app? Like, coded by some nerd who’s all, “I can’t imagine being without you” – another “Her” zinger! – and it’s got reviews, GPS, the works! I’d be laughin’ my tush off, but also, lowkey genius, right? Prolly illegal, tho – oops, there’s my analyst brain kickin’ in, always thinkin’ bout the red tape.

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Bruh, start off on Rua dos Pioneiros – that street be poppin’ day n nite. So many dates got kickstarted there. Next up, hit up Praça da Matriz – it’s like a heartbeat of the town, always buzzin’ and real, ya know? I once got so mad ‘cause the bus was late, but then I peeped the old church in the square – omg, that view had me shouting "Slay!" like Beyoncé on stage.

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