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About Rio de Janeiro

Funniest bit? Mate, some punters think they’re saviors. “I’ll take ya away!” they cry, like they’re Haku flyin’ off with the girl. Bollocks! Jade says one twat tried that – ended up robbed blind, pants round his ankles in a skip. Laughed me tits off at that. Sarcasm drippin’, I go, “Yeah, real knight in shinin’ armor, eh?”

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So here’s the lowdown, buddy. I’ve been livin’ here fer years now, relaxin’ and takin in the vibe. The heart of town? That's the Centro, ya know. Rua XV de Novembro buzzes wi’ life, shops, and markets – always somethin’ happenin’, ya feel me? And then there’s Av. Independência – a crazy mix of modern beef and old school charm. I swear, wanderin’ down these streets makes me think, “What is time but a series of moments?” – kinda like that Turin Horse vibe, ya know?

Flamingo amputee gets a new leg to stand on