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So. Picture. This! I’m. Strolling. Neon. Lights. Blazing! Some. Dude. Yells. “Hey. Geisha. Wanna. Party?” I’m. Like. Dude! I’m. Not. THAT. Kinda. Geisha! Made. Me. Mad! But. Also. Laughed! Finding. A. Prostitute. Here? Tricky! Japan’s. Got. Rules! But. Secrets? Oh. Yeah! Little. Known. Fact! They. Call. ‘Em. “Soapland. Girls!” Fancy. Bathhouses! You. Pay. For. “Baths!” Wink. Wink! Costs. Like. 20,000. Yen! That’s. 130. Bucks! Steep! But. Classy!

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I luv the neighborhoods too. Westside Grove, for example, is so hip that even the stray dogs have attitude. Even though the streets sometimes get kinda sketchy, you just gotta roll with it. Some parts, like near the Millennium Bridge on Riverfront, give off a vibe that’s sometimes heartwarming, sometimes infuriating—like when my code breaks right before a launch, ugh.