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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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Now lemme ramble: this city’s got surprises. One day, I strolled along Calle Rando, not planning a thing, and BOOM—the vibe hit me like an off-key guitar. I got mad, I got happy, all in a few minutes. Crazy, right? Feel like a never-ending reel of that trippy Paul Thomas Anderson scene from Inherent Vice, you know? “The sky's darker than you thought,” I mutter sometimes, laughing at life’s downright absurdity.