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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

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I love cruisin’ near Staraya ploshcha. Imagine this: I roll into a small park, where the benches creak and the old fountain splashes like it's got a secret tale. Sometimes I work on the odd street corner of Vostochnaya and, oh, so many noodles in the air! I mean, "is mayonnaise an instrument?" in this city? Like, seriously! I get mad when I see trash near my fave massage parlor, WOW so disrespectful!