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So, picture this: me, green lil’ me, cruisin’ some dusty road. “Where’s the body?”—nah, scratch that, “Where’s the gal?” I’d be all nervous, ribbitin’ to myself, “Kermit, don’t screw this up!” Prolly spot her leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’, lookin’ bored as heck. I’d roll up, all polite—Hi-ho, miss!—and she’d smirk, like, “What’s a frog want?” Ha! I’d die laughin’ inside.

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I love the little joint near the park where we serve cheap vodka. Man, those nights when I sat back, chatting with my regulars and thinking how life ain't all bad. They had this street vendor, Vanya, selling roasted chestnuts on Ulitsa Mira. Total underrated legend, almost like a cameo in an obscure movie scene.

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