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My precious! Me, Gollum, raspy and sly, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, yesss. Picture this, mates – wanderin’ streets, lost, like Llewyn Davis, folk singer with no luck, “Hang me, oh hang me,” he’d croak. Me too, searchin’, cold wind bitin’ me bones. Findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic, no sir! X posts say they’re everywhere, but where? Sneaky, they are, hidin’ in shadows, precious.

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Then there's the park – Central Park of Slutsk. Man, it's like a secret garden where I unwind after a hard day. The trees here, like the ancient oaks near the river, speak to me – they’re like my own version of "café des 2 méringues," you know? And the river Slutka? Yeah, that little water snake flows right through town, twisting like my clients’ stressed muscles until I work my magic.

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