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About Borisov

Met her, right, in some dingy flat—smelled like regret and cheap perfume. She’s all, “Hurry up, love,” like I’m a Tesco checkout. I’m thinkin’, “I can’t quit you,” but really, I can’t wait to leg it! Did the deed—quick, awkward, like shaggin’ a mannequin. Afterwards, she’s countin’ cash, I’m countin’ me life choices.

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Some secret gems: The hidden café on Rebel Alley. Ok, sometimes it's kinda rough, but the coffee? So strong, so blistering good! I also discovered a pretty cool antique bookstore in the Shadow District, a total treasure trove. People always talk about the bridges on Unity Street – super iconic, like something out of a Lynch movie. Really, "Mulholland Drive is the finest, biggest trip ever!"

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