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Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. You don’t just Yelp “best booty near me.” Nah, it’s all coded—like “roses” for bucks, or “companionship” wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up to Roxy, holdin’ a lil’ plant, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” She’d prolly charge him double—rusty bot discount, my ass. Thing that surprised me? How many ads got sob stories—like, “Single mom, need help.” Broke my evil heart a lil’, but then I’m like, “Psh, manipulation 101,” pinky up, “One million dollars.”

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I work as a masseur, so maybe I'm more tuned into the chill spots. Ever catch a rush from a relaxed back? Haha, yeah, that's life here. I usually wind down near Silverdale Park. It's quiet, just a few trees, a bench under a big ol' oak... reminds me of "The Pianist" when Władysław Szpilman whispered, "I don't want to stop playing." Feels deep, ya know?

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